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how can a restaurant scare me so much [16 Jan 2006|10:41pm]
tomorrow i start training at chilis
i'm shy and clumsy
this could've been a huge mistake
joey started at applebees and he said it sucks

it's do or die time
i need money
i need to move out in july/august
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[06 Dec 2005|12:49pm]
the band is being really fucking shady.. so i tried to find an alternate plan.. and "pretty girls make graves" publicist is talking to the band..i may be going to RI this weekend.. everyong cross your fingers.. this would be perfect
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[20 Oct 2005|05:10pm]
[ mood | sad ]

mike came into our editing class today, and i smiled, and he said he was gonna withdraw, his health problems are worse than he had thought, and i got so sad.. he was talking to my teacher and i kept saying that i was gonna run up to him and give him a hug.. like WAIT.. and then do it.. and then he walked out and i didn't.. but then i did.. i ran out the door.. screamed down the hall WAIT.. and ran up to him and gave him a hug.. i was about to burst into tears.. it's so sad.. he said he'd still help me shoot my jr film.. and thats nice, but i just want him here.. and i want everything to be ok.. i want him to feel better and have a million dollars..

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note to self [07 Oct 2005|01:10am]
it's ok to not like mushrooms
really!
stop trying to make yourself like them
it's just not in the cards ya know
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i want to sleep [26 Sep 2005|12:36am]
and there is no sleep when there is nick...

and then work...

and then stories....


i just want to sleep
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just a little freaked out [23 Sep 2005|11:22pm]
i read a couple of message boards one about a medication that causes bad sleep walking and doing crazy things while you're asleep and not remember them in the morning.. also losing lots of short term and long term memory.. feeling very disconnected.. which lead me into thinking about night terrors and adult sleep disorder and maybe they're connected.. b/c that subject also interests me

and i read about someone being strangled by an alien at night.. just crazy shit.. and its all really scary and im afraid to do a doc on this stuff
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seriously [13 Sep 2005|09:58am]
im about 2 seconds away from going crazy and moving back to boston...
there's nothing here for me
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[13 Sep 2005|01:36am]
i smoked and ate way too much today.. i feel like a fat shit.. that has lung cancer.. i also never want to talk about the movie i made.. even though im going to have to on wed.. im in such a horrible mood, and it won't export to tape..

i need a break.. im not used to this, my chest hurts.. gnight
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what we do to get high [15 Aug 2005|01:25pm]
so yesterday after work joey and I went to maria's little shindig.. but first we walked out of work, and there is a trail again leading to my car with a big puddle underneith.. im like jeez, i just got this shit looked at.. so im already a little nervous.. get to maria's.. eat a shitload.. it was a little awkward.. her friends are way younger than me.. and im like uhh.. give me food.. i also just gave up red meat.. so everyone made fun of the turkey dog i was eating.. then it started to lighting out, and i was nervous about driving home.. so we jetted but maria asked me if i wanted to get the brownies to go.. of course i said sure.. her mom packed me and joey 8 brownies.. and at first i was like "whoa whoa thats quite enough" after like 4.. but then i didn't stop her.. so yes, we went home with 8 brownies.. i don't even know if there was enough to go around.. so we walk outside, it starts to pour.. and almost get hit by lighting.. start the car.. eat a brownie.. then it's pouring.. and it takes forever to get to joeys.. finally do.. i change into pj's.. joey showers.. and we're eating more brownies, and he's like "yo wanna sleep over".. so there's no way i wanna man that storm.. so i do..

then we're thinking we wanna get high.. and i just happen to have my bowl in the car.. which is actually ellen's but i have it till like thanksgiving or something.. i was gonna scrape my bowl.. but then im looking in the bag it's in.. and there are a lot of little pot pieces that have fallen out over the past couple of weeks. and i was like "shit we have a lot of pot.. somebody's gettin high tonight" so we quickly run outside to smoke it.. and as soon as we get outside and stand next to his car, i light it up.. and joey says "wow, you dont' waste any time" which of course makes me laugh.. and blow all the pot out of the bowl.. there wasnt' that much in there to begin with.. just very little burnt clumps.. that are now all over his wet driveway... we both look at each other like "shit im an idiot" so i get on my hands and knees and try to find it.. i just sorta graze my hand over the concrete and pick up what i can.. i have no idea if its pot.. we sorta smell it.. and then put it in the bowl.. and i d id that twice.. and it was enough to get us kinda happy.. i couldn't believe that worked..

then we watch some tv and he leaves me in the basement with the cats. . and i slept horribly till 7 when i jetted home..

today i think i will clean..
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[28 Jul 2005|09:57pm]
i can't remember what i did last weekend..oh yea.. i went out and was a party animal on saturday night.. first we went to paulies in pleasantville.. got some awesome drink that got me buzzed.. then we went to dicey rileys i think in yonkers and stayed there till like 4 am.. i didn't get home until 6.. joey and vlora dirty danced.. vlora got wayy too drunk and puked.. i ordered pita bread at a diner.. why? you ask.. well i was craving pita bread and hummus. and they had no hummus, so i figured just pita bread would be good, not so much.. then at 8 am .. like an hour after i fell asleep.. susan comes barging into my room b/c i forgot to clean out my frying pan from when i made a veggie burger.. demanding that i clean it.. i put the covers over my head and ignored her... but yea haven't been doing much. i went to see jay's band play tonight at the empress w/ maria.. nobody was there, i felt so bad.. i mean literally maybe 15 people in there..s o you figure.. 3 bands.. 3 or 4 people in each band.. hmmmm.. maybe we were the only people there that didn't have to be there.. i felt bad.. jay's friend just died.. and he was all choked up.. but it was cool to see him.. he looks better in the winter.. i dunno what is up with me and short chubby guys lately.. maybe its a phase im going through.
this other band played.. renee heartfelt..they were kind of great.. like if hey mercedes grew some fucking balls and played harder.

oh i saw denise.. we went to see wedding crashers which is hilarious..

and i saw land of the dead for a dollar in poughkeepsie.. not so great..but for a dollar im not complaining

can't wait for monday.. when the brandonator comes to visit..
tomorrow i gotta clean my room and car.. nobody needs to know how much of a slob i am..
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nauscea, im sorry! [22 Jul 2005|10:03pm]
im sorry about the horrible car sickness.. i really fucked up jackies paper route.. it was all good.. we bagged all the papers.. counted them and threw them in her backseat and were ready to go.. we had coffee, coke, and cupcakes at 3 am.. started on her route.. i was navigating, throwing papers.. helping out.. then the car sickness sets in.. first im just a little nauscious.. then it takes over.. and i can't breathe.. not being able to breathe makes me feel like im going to passout.. and on top of that i think im going to puke.. i didn't know what to do.. so needless to say i was no help... jackie dropped me off.. and i was crying.. i passed out for a couple of hrs.. then we smoked.. bad idea.. i went to work to get my paycheck.. and my manager just sorta laughed at me.. my hair was a mess, eyes barely open, wearing the same clothes from the night before.. oh what a sight.

hopefully jackie will give me another try just a little doped up on drammamine with those motion sickness wrist bands on as well.. :)
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[21 Jul 2005|02:30am]
what i really like about the last few episodes of the xfiles.. are the way mulder and skully look at each other.. it feels genuine, pure.. and for us it's a huge build up.. and for them, well thats just good acting..


i hate susan, she's trying to kick my brother out..
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update [09 Jul 2005|03:35pm]
white chicks is a damn funny movie
its got all the cheap shots..
a bathroom shitting/farting scene
and not one but TWO singing in the car scenes.. done very very well i might add..

i'd recomend it.. which is weird, b/c i ranked on it when it came out.. just don't try to rationalize why they have to become white chicks.. we know there are many many easier ways to go about it.. just ignore that.

mavis sucks.. a 45 min wait turned into 4 and a half hours.. 3 magazines, ghostbusters 2, part of mo money, and half of full house.. then coffee and lunch once joey came.. crazy.. but i did make two friends, two other guys waiting for their brakes, yea my brakes are fucked again.. just 8 months after i fixed em.. i feel bad.. b/c daddy paid for it.. i just wanna sell it right now, b/c it doesn't make any noises..

then fishkill for the worst chinese buffet ever.. EVER... don't go there

gotta work tonight
but tomorrow is philly

woot woot
oh and the brandonator and head automaca

raise the roof niggas
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[06 Jul 2005|06:14pm]
the microwave is gone..

susan removed it


b/c apparently somebody didn't reset the keypad one too many times

she's crazy
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[26 Jun 2005|02:03am]
no words can describe the new batman movie.. probably about as good as you can make it.. christian bale and cillian murphy.. HOT!

the cheese factor kept to a minimum

katie holmes level of annoying also kept to a minimum

good stuff
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[24 Jun 2005|07:30pm]
so sean has come to his senses.. and sober this sounds like a bad idea.. and apparently he "doesn't know what he was thinking".. whatever.. i would've done it too..
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im freaking out [24 Jun 2005|01:03am]
long story short.. (and i will write it out when im high maybe)

im supposed to sleep with sean on tues..
yes its planned
movie night/sex

weird!!!!!!


in other news..
jared's cute.. we chatted at red mills.. i drank some of his beer.. and me, him, and joey are going up to oswego next week.. super stoked


texted nick.. we're gonna hangout too

im swimming in boys

don't know about the sex with sean though.. i already agreed to it. im FREAKING OUT!
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[19 Jun 2005|02:06am]
there is nothing in the world as embarrassing.. as making waffles at 2 am.. and staring at the toaster oven as it cooks.. awaiting the tasy waffles.. all the condoments set around you.. you got the plate, the fork, the jelly, the syrup, and the stepbrother comes walking in.. looks at you.. says hey.. looks away.,. walks to the bathroom.. pees loudly and hten goes downstairs..

i really don't need my dads wifes son to have this 2 am waffle image of me..

it was good though

ode to waffles and strawberry jam
a few words by stephanie hunter

succulent
mystifying
nauscea (in a good way)
never forget you
ever
tell oj juice i said wassup
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[19 Jun 2005|01:38am]
so b/c im just a huge dork.. on a saturday night at 1:30 im on tvguide.com searching david duchovny.. a movie "connie and carla" comes up.. being on channel 363
what! i don't have that channel in my room but i bet they do downstairs!
shit a david duchovny movie i've never seen.. life could not be better right now..

pitter patter run downstairs.. get some iced tea.. packed a bowl.. turned on the tv.. turn to channel 363.. its a black screen

THEY DO NOT GET THIS CHANNEL
it's starz.. and apparently the riley household does not like starz.. we get hbo and cinemax.. which just sucks b/c we all know the good shit is on show or starz.. so alright.. i can't watch the movie.. sucks.. but maybe it was too good to be true..

so i smoke the bowl, drink the iced tea..and proceed back upstairs to my room .. hmm what to do..lets search imdb.com for connie and carla.. and see what the movie i'm missing is about.
he's third down on the list.. not a bad part..
plotline
apparently two chicago-ites connie and carla withness some mob hit/scene or whatever.. and must flee.. so they where else.. to LA.. and somehow.. these two women.. get cooky jobs as pretending to be dragqueens at some nightclub.. THEN.. some guy.. who's name is jeff.. played by david duchovny falls in love with one of the women posing to be a drag queen.. and it ends with them flashing their tits to the nightclub to prove their womanhood

ok.. so this does not sound like a good movie.. AT ALL..

still.. david was not far down on the list.. and i thought it would be really funny to see him in this part.. sadly.. sadly.. i still cannot watch it..
so i am not done with imdb.com i start looking at the message board.. which apparently you have to sign up for to read.

and some chick writes about how this movie is not good.. and she doesn't get david.. here is her post!
"David Duchovny has got to be one of the worst actors ever and for the life of me, I can't see what people see in him. He's not even good looking and his voice grated on my nerves throughout the entire film. "

immediately i am appalled.. not goodlooking?? bad actor????? what do people see in him ???????????? well i am even more appalled now... what is wrong with this person.. i don't know.. i read further..

someone has replied!

"Also loved David in the film. His reaction to that kiss was priceless. I'll tell you what i see in him:) He's smart, funny and i think he's a good actor and very handsome. I guess to each their own."

this is funny c'mon ..

how do we know if he's smart.. he's an actor.. we have no idea.. funny?? can an actor be funny? i mean some of his lines may be funny.. but is dave.. funny for real.. we have no idea.. she thinks he's a good actor.. ok.. thats vouched for, its opinion.. oh oh.. and very handsome.. like she forgot that in the first part.. i didn't think much of this person.. but i had to agree.. and then i look at the name.. their username.. and it is:

Pippy-4

and that is so weird.. so heres a post..about my buddy dave.. pippy, bad drag queen movies, and the last hour of my life.. sorry you read that

bye
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[18 Jun 2005|01:35am]
everyone should go out and rent bottlerocket right now.. i don't know why it has taken me so long to see it.. but fantastic!

i think i want to make a documentary about seeing a therapist.. i don't believe in therapists.. but i do have issues with certain things.. so it might be fun to pick apart and analyze a therapist while they try to do the same for me.. read some psych books.. could be fun

i need dental floss.. i've run out

thought the toilet was unclogged.. still clogged

the plunger was actually under my sink.. susan now things im an idiot

i don't want to do yoga tomorrow morning, im kinda tired..
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